Yes, those are Beatles lyrics you read just there. No, I am not obsessed with them. So I’m no longer a teenager now, I’m almost out of university, I’m looking very forward to the future – but part of me can’t help but think about the past.

So this section is, most probably, going to be all the crazy thoughts I ever had as a kid: things I misread, things I misinterpreted, things that people told me to get me to listen to them.

This is some of the stuff my brother told me when I was too naïve to believe any different:

There are three worlds on this earth

Yes, when I was 6 I really thought there were three separate worlds forming Earth. What did my brother mean? The third world countries. I must have been looking at his geography text books, saw the odd diagrams, saw the words “Third World” and jumped to conclusions. Smart, right?

Monsters eat you if you place your slippers facing towards the bed

I was told this aged 4 / 5. Why? I think because it’s just generally easier getting out of bed and putting your slippers on if they face away from the bed. I, of course, didn’t listen to this one. My slippers were across the room, and yes, it was quite a bit of trouble trying to find them in the middle of the night for toilet trips.

If you touch your belly button, chocolate comes out

I tried this a lot when I was 5. A lot. I think you know the truth behind this one.

So yes, I was fed lies when I was a kid. And the lies never stopped, now my family can’t really say much to me – I have the power of Google and Wikipedia behind me. Technology, how I love you so.