It’s been a while since my last blog post. The end of November and start of December have been busy, with lots of changes, which I will share at some point. But also, sheer exhaustion.

As I read back on my daily gratitudes, I realise that November was a turning point for me. Realising what was happening to me mentally and physically allowed me to shift focus, reframe things, and action things differently. Having the support from family and friends helped a lot too.

Practising craft therapy and painting to get into the flow state of mind also put things into perspective. And also some helpful distractions from all the films and television shows we consumed to provide some light hearted entertainment. You really can’t pour from an empty cup.

So, here is my not so bad November:

1 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today. Saw a lovely episode of Cougar Town and film The Holidate, and I’m grateful I have someone I can share holidays and just general days with.

2 A couple of things today. Grateful for exercise, really did not want to get up early but managed it (a little) and grateful for my body being able to move around. Also grateful for letting go and trying not to let things affect me or to react to everything, learning that not everything needs a response or reaction – it can just be.

3 Realisations: grateful for realisations today. It’s as if I had a mini epiphany and saw a pattern that had been there all along, and now I can hopefully do something about it.

4 A few things today: grateful for my new plug-in USB mouse, oddly it’s the little things and turns out I really dislike the laptop tracker pad. Grateful for emails, communication is more important than ever and digesting an email can be better than a phone call out of the blue. Grateful for maintenance people, as a couple came today to try and fix leaks on our flat roof, I heard them banging and scrambling above so grateful for these people fixing things during a pandemic.

5 Working from home: grateful for this today. No commute, no rush, no travelling to unknown places, no carrying my laptop. Grateful for a clean kitchen with good tea and eating freshly made lunch.

6 A few things today. Grateful for the film Onward, was really fun and entertaining and heartfelt. A feel good movie for sure. Also grateful for information and knowledge, I realised there was a reason why the origami folding I did years ago was so therapeutic – craft therapy is an actual thing. And of course, grateful for craft therapy or creative therapy, I finally have a name for it.

7 A couple of things today. Grateful for Frozen 2. Entertaining and enjoyable, teaching you that if you don’t know what to do, then to do the next right thing. I thought that was just lovely. Also grateful for democracy. Joe Biden has essentially won the US presidency, the electoral college vote still needs to happen, but happy with the results today.

8 Painting: grateful for painting today, listening to The Sandman too. Really getting into the flow state and being present, this is the best part of my week: listening to a riveting story and doing something fun that shows tangible results.

9 A few things today. Grateful for sturdy cushions to help me sit a bit more comfortably today, it’s been months sitting on the dining table chair working from home so bound to have some side effects. Grateful for the news of a potential viable vaccine, this vaccine has shown promising results so fingers crossed. Also grateful for little things: I have ordered crochet hooks and yarn and a highly recommended fidget cube so hopefully they will keep me occupied.

10 A few things today. Grateful for a lie in, catching up on some snooze due to noisy neighbours waking us up. Grateful for catching up with a friend and chatting for ages about nothing and just vibing off each other. And grateful for realisations and truths: realising I’m not the only one who thinks or acts a certain way and realising where the source stems from.

11 A few things today. Grateful for receiving post, I ordered a few things and they finally arrived today, it felt like Christmas! Grateful for yarn and crochet hooks as I started crocheting this evening. Grateful for the softness of yarn and the calming colour too, I’m looking forward to experimenting and learning a new craft. Grateful for Little Women as I have finally finished reading it and it really is a wonderful book.

12 Many things today. Grateful for surprises as I have ordered something for someone for their upcoming birthday and they have no idea! Grateful for crocheting as I have done quite well today reaching for my tiny crochet line instead of my phone to get a little breather, and the yarn feels so nice! Grateful for Cougar Town as we have finally finished all 6 seasons and it was a little sad seeing it end, the characters are odd and aloof but you’re really invested in their relationships and journeys. Grateful for letting go as when one door closes another really does open, and some kind of proof that what you give out you get back.

13 November. Grateful for November today. It’s a couple of friends’ big birthdays today, and though we couldn’t celebrate with them, I’m grateful I could send them some things to make their day a little more special. Grateful for the upcoming festive season as we started watching Dash and Lily on Netflix and loving the festive cheer. Grateful for some bright lights and cosy stories to keep me warm this winter month.

14 Dash and Lily: grateful for this heart warming, fuzzy, funny show. Hard to believe the characters are meant to be teenagers, but other than that, the characters and relationships are so sweet. The two leads pushing each other out of their comfort zones and introducing a different way of thinking things through. Just what I needed.

15 Several things today. Grateful for my sister in law: it’s her birthday today and I’m grateful she is in my life and she has been encouraging my elementary crocheting. Grateful for something to celebrate: a couple of long time friends have called us out of the blue with some really exciting news, very happy for them, and very encouraging hearing their pro feminist plans. Grateful for painting as we did some more Paint by Numbers, this is literally the best part of my whole week. Grateful for Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman on Audible, the storyline so far is really interesting, and it’s so gripping hearing how actions have consequences decades and generations down the line. Grateful for crocheting, keeping me a little sane and having something to keep my hands busy. And grateful for self reflection, as I’ve realised something to hopefully help me work smarter instead of working harder, so hopefully should be seeing more results sooner.

16 Grateful for the hubby today: supporting and helping me get some epic stuff done.

17 Modern Family: grateful for Modern Family today. Started watching this again and it’s funny and has little heartwarming moments. Just a lovely little show.

18 Crocheting: grateful for crocheting today. Though I have only started this hobby very recently, it has brought some comfort to me in the recent dreary days. As winter is looming and the days are getting darker earlier, I feel some little joy and comfort is much needed to go around.

19 Progress: grateful for a little progress today. I did something this week that I did back in July, if I remember correctly, and I can definitely see the difference between then and now. It’s nice seeing this progress, as it’s usually quite difficult to see much improvement when living and carrying out the day to day.

20 Friends: grateful for friends today. Catching up with a couple who we haven’t spoken to in months and it was lovely chatting about all sorts: current woes, future dreams, and of course Korean dramas.

21 Believing: grateful for hope and belief today. Watched The Santa Clause for the first time, and it was nice watching adults believe again. Of course, one has to suspend their disbelief, but it was just nice seeing disillusioned adults listen to their inner child.

22 Body: grateful for the body today, letting me know I need a break. Had a nice lie in this morning, trying to recuperate and recharge. I think my body is trying to let me know I’m almost burnt out, or that I am burnt out. I spent a lot of today dozing or napping on the sofa, but I think I really need that right now. And I think I need to listen to what my body is trying to tell me.

23 A couple of things today. Grateful for people, for the hubby and friends, keeping me going through this time of darkness and grey clouds overhead and supporting me. Also grateful for learning and discovering positive psychology and self-efficacy and that I have experienced some of the things I have read about, it’s opened my eyes to how and why I react in certain situations – it’s psychology.

24 Exercise: grateful for exercise this morning. Getting the heart rate up and moving about helped me wake up this morning. I’ve been finding it more difficult to get out of bed and actually do things lately, so glad I was able to get up early to move about a bit.

25 A few things today. Grateful for conversations as I had a really enlightening one today. Grateful for sleep and an early night, I was completely shattered yesterday so had an early night and had a little lie in and felt so refreshed this morning. Grateful for the hubby helping me during a frantic time when google was not helpful. Grateful for other technologies helping me reframe and rethink things more logically.

26 A few things today. Grateful for tea fuelling me through this long gruelling day. Grateful for the hubby providing lots of hugs to power me through today. And grateful for advocacy and having cheerleaders behind you pushing you along.

27 A few things today. Grateful for progress as I realise I have come a long way and want to celebrate a win today. Grateful for the hubby, supporting me and helping me see things from an alternative perspective. Grateful for colleagues also helping and sharing the burden. Grateful for Christmas films as we watched Christmas Chronicles 2 and it was very enjoyable.

28 Naps: grateful for naps today. Super tired and was nice having a little recharge in the afternoon.

29 A couple of things today. Grateful for painting and being in the flow state just painting away and forgetting about all of life’s worries. And grateful for naps and sleeping and resting, think I’m close to burning out and my body is telling me to rest and recuperate.

30 Progress: grateful for progress today. Just pausing and thinking how far I’ve come and felt totally on the ball today, as if I can see clearly now. So much has changed this year and definitely not in the ways I’ve expected or even planned. Progress is still progress.