February 2022

It appears that February has been a music-driven month for me. I have been listening to instrumental Disney songs throughout the month and watched Sing 2 and have been really enjoying listening to music and feeling the feels that come with it.

I’ve also been grateful for little every day things: electricity, shelter, and food. I’ve read before that when people start their gratitude journals, at first they are grateful for really big things. Then later, people become grateful for little every day things – and maybe, possibly, I’m now at this later stage.

It’s been 3 years since I’ve started these gratitude journal posts, my very first one being in February 2019. Perhaps I am more meditative and reflective than before, or perhaps it’s just me as a person being better connected with myself than I was before.

A lot has changed since 2019 to now. In my very first gratitude journal post I mention a Marie Kondo style cleanse of my life and re-wiring my brain from surviving to thriving. Am I there yet?

Not quite. But I am more at peace now than I was 3 years ago. And I’m still trying – and that’s what counts. And maybe it’s more about the journey and what or who I find along my way rather than the destination itself. So, here is my 37th gratitude journal:

1 Music: grateful for music today. I was listening to piano instrumental covers of Disney songs and the catchy tunes made the working day more enjoyable and the lack of lyrics also helped me better concentrate. And of course the songs are really good.

2 Skincare: grateful for skincare today. Using my gua sha where I have to concentrate and it has calmed and soothed me, so I’m quite relaxed now.

3 Disney songs: grateful for Disney songs today. Blasting some classic tunes whilst working away, singing at the top of my lungs, definitely puts me in a chipper mood.

4 Electricity: grateful for electricity today. Had an electrician come round to take a look at things and made me realise how much we take it for granted. Simply working from home and charging a laptop, but then I realised the battery was low and I couldn’t charge it – it’s the little things.

5 Sleep: super grateful for sleep. Woke up naturally this morning with no alarms, it was around 9am, but super grateful to rest and wake up naturally.

6 A few things today. Grateful for dogs, as I saw a few today and they were adorable: sniffing and wagging their tails. Grateful for writing, as I was in a flow state of mind writing today. And grateful for blue today. We have a Van Gogh print of The Sea at Les Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, and the blue used in painting the sea relaxes me – it’s a beautiful painting and I’m super grateful we have it.

7 The Guardian Ape in Sekiro: grateful for this strange thing today. Sitting on the sofa and the hubby is shouting at the game Sekiro, as he’s fighting a boss called The Guardian Ape, and it is utterly hilarious. A tiny-headed berserk ape throwing faeces, and the hubby is shouting why his player keeps getting hit as I see him run towards the boss. Other expletives are shouted out by the hubby in frustration as flatulence poisons his character, and I’m on the sofa laughing my head off. A ridiculous boss fight, hilarious though. I literally cried with laughter.

8 Orange juice: grateful for drinking orange juice today. I’ve been forcing myself to drink cranberry juice, which I find super tart, so grateful to drink something sweeter today. I also feel I haven’t drunk OJ in a while, so it makes a nice change.

9 Self care: grateful for self care today. One being skincare, looking after myself and being present, almost like being in a meditative state. And also grateful for writing as a form of self care, as I find it helps me untangle my thoughts and calms me down. And grateful for reading, as I’ve very recently discovered Brianna Wiest and I find her writing really eye opening and thought provoking. Grateful for different forms of self care to refill my cup and educate myself.

10 Several things today. Grateful for birds and birdsong, as I saw and heard a few birds this morning. Grateful for journalling, as I did a bit of journalling last night which I haven’t done in absolutely ages and it was quite cathartic. Grateful to carve out some time to take stock and reorganise/ rejig things. Grateful for OneNote helping me make checklists and keep track of things I need/ want to do. Grateful for progress, at work and regarding myself and my mental health. I’m noticing little things that show progress and it’s giving me fuel to push on – I can only describe it as the opposite of being in a rut. And grateful for the hubby, humming fake Disney songs and dancing together and then laughing at me as I supposedly get too into the dancing – good times.

11 Cica: grateful for cica and cicacream today. It has worked wonders on my skin and soothed it pretty much completely. Who knew that you didn’t need to slather on loads but just apply the tiniest weeniest amount. Grateful for having soothed skin.

12 Afternoon tea: grateful for afternoon tea today.

I love cakes, desserts, and tea – I find it so quaint and cosy – I love it. Grateful to enjoy a lovely and tasty meal.

13 Me time: grateful for some me time today. I put my phone away and had a simple day: I massaged oil in my hair, listened to a soothing podcast, listened to a couple of Disney tunes, did some writing, cooked a relatively healthy meal, played a video game with the hubby, and just watched some TV. Grateful to have the time to do simple little things that refill my cup and grateful to find fulfilment in old school entertainment.

14 A few things today. Grateful for burn gel, as I burnt myself today and I think the gel helped reduce pain and maybe tissue damage. Grateful for a lovely colleague who sent a very sweet message hoping that the hubby was treating me well today as it’s Valentine’s, I thought it was so lovely and unexpected, like they were shipping for us! And grateful for the hubby, who helped me do things after my burning, fed me lots of chocolates today, and just for being my hubby.

15 Flowers: grateful for flowers today.

I was walking along and saw pops of yellow and purple peeping through the grass. I don’t know much about flowers or gardening, but colourful blooming flowers bring joy to me.

16 Reading: grateful for reading today, as it’s been helping me relax and fall asleep a lot quicker lately. Grateful to have the time to read and grateful that I still like reading these days.

17 Validation: grateful for validation today. I’m aware that validation should not come externally, but today 2 things happened. I’m grateful for the affirmation and validation from one of the directors at work who praised my technical capabilities. This means so much to me considering my imposter syndrome phases at my previous jobs, and the difference this time is that I am totally aware that I am doing a good technical job and I am proud that I can recognise that by myself. The director’s words were just the cherry on top. The second thing to happen was an open conversation about someone in my life where we have naturally outgrown each other. It was like my mind was being read and I completely 100% agreed with what was being said and that really validated me. After that conversation I felt relief and peace. Super grateful for two separate instances of validation.

18 Shelter: super grateful for shelter today. Storm Eunice has been very loud and windy, so I’m grateful to have been indoors most of the day. Grateful to have been protected by the elements – nature sure is a force to be reckoned with.

19 Music: grateful for music today. Watched Sing 2 and it was really good, the song choices and performances were really good, a lot of feels for sure.

20 A few things today. Grateful for sleep, even though I woke up in the middle of the night and then couldn’t get back to sleep immediately, I managed it in the end. Grateful for the hubby putting up paintings and pictures – there were some things we haven’t put up in almost 5 years. Grateful for friends, catching up, and sharing sweet and funny stories.

21 Eco warrior: grateful for eco friendly companies today. Trying really hard to be an eco friendly household and ordered some more eco friendly goodies to try out. Looking forward to testing them out and reducing our carbon footprint.

22 A couple of things today. Grateful for sleep, as last night was the first time – it feels, in a while – where I had solid uninterrupted sleep. I awoke refreshed – it felt great. Also grateful for music, helping me work through the day and calming me.

23 A couple of things today. Super grateful for my body, carrying me through the day pain free. Grateful for a garden, as there were lots of birds visiting the garden today and it was delightful watching them flutter about.

24 Reflection: grateful for reflection today. Going down memory lane and realising and better understanding things that happened, making more sense of how I felt or what I thought and how I’ve changed since then. Grateful to have this time to step back, view again in retrospect, and see things so much clearly now – as if the veil has lifted.

25 A few things today.

Grateful for great food and great company, as we celebrated a very belated Christmas lunch alongside leaving drinks for a wonderful colleague. Grateful to physically meet colleagues I’ve seen virtually every day, as well as welcoming new colleagues, and catching up with old colleagues. Grateful for our wonderful colleague who is leaving, who is not afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve. Also grateful because this is the only other person, other than the hubby, who has ever said “let’s go see a U2 gig together”. And I guess I’m grateful for U2 bringing people together.

26 Several things today.

Grateful for sunshine and warmth today. Grateful for colourful flowers fully blooming. Grateful for the hubby showing us an interesting statue. Grateful for a friend visiting and catching up. Grateful for tapas and delicious food.

27 A couple of things today. Grateful for sleep, as I feel I haven’t had much uninterrupted sleep for a while other than last night. Grateful for sunshine, as the warmth and light is soothing and brings me hope that spring is coming and then soon summer will be here.

28 Self care: grateful for some self care today. Grateful for skincare, grateful for deep breathing, grateful for silence, grateful for a little peace, grateful for tea, grateful for writing, grateful for slowing down a little.

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