February 2020

Well February has been an intense month, to say the least. I travelled, I learnt, I cried, I barely slept – so much has been happening, and to be frank, not much of it really relaxing. A lot has also been going on around the world: pandemic, riots; sometimes it seems like the world is such a terrible violent place to live in. Sometimes it’s hard not to dwell. I try practising mindfulness, acknowledging the thought or emotion that pops into my head and then trying, so hard, to let it go. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Lately I’ve also been trying to rewire my brain and think through the issue: either accept it and get through it, or do something to get over it. The crux is when I’m not in a position or don’t have the knowledge or power to do something about any of it, yet I find it too hard to accept. It’s a work in progress, for sure. But something I heard has just about, almost, made me see it through. An interview with Tom Hanks, who played Fred Rogers, and channelling him saying the words: “This too shall pass“. All the good things, and all the bad things, these will all pass, just like all the good things and all the bad things that happened decades or centuries ago. That helped.  

I’m grateful that this month I’ve been able to travel to Gran Canaria and Cardiff, and even if neither of those trips were particularly chilled, I saw and ate a lot! I’m also grateful to attend some really good events and learnt a lot about artificial intelligence, machine learning, and criminal law. I’ve also learnt the importance of people, having a support network, communication and just having the ability to ask, and also the importance of health and illness prevention. So here is my up and down rollercoaster February:

1 Dreams: grateful for wishes and dreams as today we went to a cafe who invited us to write a wish on a wine cork, a non materialistic wish, and deposit into their wall. It was a lovely chance to check in on yourself and see what you want if money was not a factor.

2 Diversions: grateful for diversions today both literally and figuratively: today we were driving along the mountains and we had to go another route due to road closures so then had to replan our day, but the rerouting took us along a lake, some amazing viewpoints, a great restaurant, and the beach we planned to see yesterday so it actually worked out really well. This reminds me of figurative diversions, where you think there is a road block stopping you going forward, whilst in reality you are just being diverted another route to the same end goal.


3 Creature comforts: finally home after 11 hours of travelling and grateful to be able to sleep in my own bed and have my own things that I’m used to.

4 Hubby: grateful for the hubby taking over chores and helping me put things into perspective regarding my future. It’s great having a co-conspirator.

5 The Good Place: grateful for this amazing show, we watched the last ever episode today and I was practically bawling throughout. Such a good ending and so well thought out: the philosophy, how it deals with death, or final death after the after life. Profound and sad, yet grateful for this show. A lovely peaceful part too about being the wave in the ocean.

6 Ukulele: grateful for the ukulele and being able to unwind and just completely be in the moment and relax.

7 Walking: grateful for being able to walk to and from work, there was an accident on the way to work today with 9 empty buses waiting to turn around a narrow road on my way to work today, so I’m grateful I can get to work ok at the moment.

8 Post: grateful for the postal service today as we visited the Royal Mail museum and I learnt how important letters and post were back in the day to keep connected, inform others of news, and keep morale up during tough times.

9 Home: grateful for a home and to be inside today as the storm seemed quite bad, with high winds and thrashing rain, so I’m grateful to be inside in the warmth today. 

10 Lights: grateful for lights today as we had new lights installed and fitted and it is the brightest our kitchen has been since we moved into this place.

11 Hubby: grateful for the hubby for sorting things out after a long day today, discussing houses and cities and upcoming events that need planning.

12 Card games: grateful for card games bringing people together for an evening of fun. We played You’ve Got Crabs which was hilarious and Salem where I played for the first time instead of being the town crier.

13 Work: grateful for work sending me on a black tie three course dinner evening, meeting new people and putting faces to names. Grateful for the opportunity to network and mingle with people in a lovely space.

14 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today, we talked about future things, ate some good food, and just chilled together.


15 Castles: grateful for castles and history today as we visited Cardiff Castle and learnt about its history and the people who lived there, there were also some truly amazing rooms.


16 Train staff: grateful for train staff today allowing us to board a much earlier train, even though we were booked on a later one, due to Storm Dennis affecting transport. Grateful that there are people wanting to get people home safely.

17 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today for doing the chores while I’m practically half asleep.

18 Music: grateful for music today to help me concentrate in a loud office.  

19 Many things today: grateful for health as a family member is ill at the moment, grateful for the hubby for supporting and comforting me, and grateful for work for organising a really odd yet intriguing networking event at an old arcade place.

20 Support: grateful to many people today for supporting me through a difficult time: hubby, friends, colleagues, and work.

21 Health: grateful for my health today, knowing I can move around, eat, drink, and breathe with ease and without pain.

22 A few things today: hubby for supporting me today, family for transporting us today due to train issues, our flat for being cosy and warm, and a friend who has decided to stay in the UK.

23 Home: grateful to be at home today and able to be close to good amenities, makes life easier knowing practical things are around me.

24 A couple of things today: attended an AI talk which was really engaging and interesting, some really good stuff coming out of AI and machine learning that could really help my industry. And catching up with an old colleague who was at the event too, learning about changes in the company and the teams. 

25 Panel discussions: grateful for attending an event that had a panel discussion, learning about updates to criminal and civil law and how it affects certain aspects of my job, really interesting and quite funny panelists.

26 Exercise: exercised for the first time in forever today and I’m grateful my body was able to move and not ache and it was good feeling energised.

27 Travel: grateful to be out of the office today and travel to a client site. Ironically, travel was practically 90% of my previous job and that was one of the worst bits. But today was nice and refreshing, I suppose because it doesn’t happen very often nowadays, so I appreciate it when it does.


28 Friends: grateful for friends today, colleagues from work listening to me rant and process things and a friend’s birthday meal out, it was nice catching up with people.

29 A couple of things: communication, as I was grateful to be able to communicate for someone and translate to help them. And the hubby, as he flew for the first time in 1.5 years