What a busy month. October has been work work work, so having some relaxing chill time has been amazing. Having a dog has also really helped me stay present and in the moment. I understand that deadlines loom and tasks have to be completed, yet Artemis has somehow drawn me back to notice what’s really important.

Even though it has been chilly at points – and sometimes I do wish that the dog could do her business a lot quicker – having a garden and being outside in nature has also helped calm the franticness.

I notice I’ve been thinking to myself “I don’t have time”, but I’m also reminded that how can we have time if we don’t make time. So I’m consciously trying to make time to do or participate in things that make me happy, little sparks of glimmer or joy, no matter how small it may be.

It’s these little sparks of glimmer or joy, these little niggles of gratitude, that are the light that shines through in this sometimes long and dark tunnel.

I’ve come a long way – maybe I’m getting older and these things don’t drag me down as much? Or maybe I’m learning to utilise other tools to help pull me out of burnout and dark tunnels quicker? Or maybe this is me being disciplined and putting in the work now to reap the rewards later?

Whatever it may be, I’m grateful for this progress and I’m grateful to now know in this lab that is my life what experiments or experiences work and what don’t work. So here is my gratitude journal for October:

1 Rest: grateful for rest today. Had a little lie in, had a little evening nap, cooked a super easy meal, and did barely any chores today. Feeling burnt out lately, so it’s good to get some self care and rest to recharge my batteries.

2 Writing: grateful for writing today. I sat down and got some creative juices flowing, which hasn’t really happened in a while, and I was reminded how much I enjoy writing.

3 A few things today. Grateful for Artemis, our dog, as it’s a deadline-filled week at work yet looking over at her having a blast with a ball makes me rethink my priorities. Watching her reminds me to stay in the moment and not worry so much. Grateful for tea, as it’s getting colder and tea is warming – and perhaps the new oat milk we have switched to might be making hot beverages taste a little nicer. And grateful for the book I’m reading at the moment, helping me be crystal clear on setting boundaries and managing expectations so I’m not too overwhelmed – if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

4 Artemis: grateful for our dog Artemis today. Just a day of funny and adorable things: she was pretty good on her evening walk, she’s starting to pick up one particular command (stand) which we have almost given up on, and this evening she was snoozing with an empty kong – she just brightens up my day and I’m so very grateful she is in my life.

5 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today, who was working from home today and doing bits and bobs helping me out. Also grateful for the extra time together when we both work from home – always so lovely.

6 Disney: grateful for Disney songs today, keeping me calm while driving and keeping me entertained in traffic too. Some really good belters to sing along to.

7 Crackers: grateful for crackers and cheese today, which we had for lunch – a nice treat. It’s the little things I guess.

8 A few things today. Grateful for Google maps/ sat nav, I really appreciate the technology offering real time traffic updates. Grateful for naps, as I had a lovely afternoon nap, resting and recuperating. Amd grateful for the dog, who was especially cuddly today for some reason.

9 Photos:

Super grateful for photos today. I was transferring photos from my phone and some photos that I had lost through what I thought was file corruption had miraculously appeared! So I was able to look through, and safely transfer, photos I thought I’d never see again. These were photos near my birthday earlier this year where the hubby got me my favourite tulips practically every week of my birthday month and also photos from a tulip festival – I just love tulips. So grateful that my phone didn’t corrupt these files, though I’m still uncertain how these files now appeared.

10 A couple of things today. Grateful for a lovely lady I spoke with on the phone today, who helped me and talked me through a process, she educated me and clarified things for me really well. Also grateful for Artemis, as she was just the absolute sweetest today and napped on me this evening which she hasn’t done for a little while. Just absolutely adorable!

11 Cuddles: grateful for cuddles with the dog today. Artemis is so warm and fluffy, her fur is soooo soft. Her elbows, on the other hand, are sharp as razors! It’s really soothing dozing with the dog and stroking her whilst her elbows dig into my rib cage.

12 Support network: grateful for my support network today. Bouncing off ideas and talking through things with the hubby and I really appreciate another perspective, and also the validation that I am actually quite reasonable. Also grateful for Artemis, who provides me with endless joy and laughter as I watch her figure out new experiences.

13 Tea: grateful for tea today. It’s definitely chillier than usual so drinking a nice hot beverage warms me up and soothes my soul. Work has been absolutely carazee lately so something warm and comforting has been really good.

14 Stones: grateful for big heavy stones already existing in the garden today. The dog must have smelt the cat next door and has been obsessed with trying to dig and stick her head under the neighbour’s fence to say hi to said cat. So here come the big heavy stones, which I miraculously hauled from one end of the garden to the neighbour’s fence to try and prevent the digging. It’s kind of working – and most definitely put a spanner in the digging works – and wouldn’t have been possible if the stones weren’t already there. Let’s hope my back is ok tomorrow!

15 Naps: grateful for naps today. Had a little lie in this morning, a little afternoon nap, and then an evening snooze. I am absolutely shattered! Work is rewarding yet there is so much to do and I’ve been working quite late recently so I guess it’s all starting to catch up with me.

16 A couple of things today. Grateful for the dinner table, as the hubby and I had a lovely meal eating and chatting and it was really nice, I’m so glad we have a space to do this. And grateful for writing, as I did some writing today and it’s quite therapeutic just sitting down and getting my thoughts out.

17 Warmth: grateful for a warm house today. The hubby reminded me that our fixed tariff utilities will be ending soon so our house bills will be increasing soon. So I’m grateful that we’ve been able to have the heating on and keep warm so far this autumn.

18 Progress: grateful for progress today. I had a conversation – and therefore realisation – that many areas of my life are more peaceful now compared to before. I’ve been rather focused on work or the new fur ball lately that I hadn’t actually had time to sit and take in this progress until today. So I’m grateful for progress and I’m grateful to know that if you feel stuck or if you’re in a dark place that things do improve and that this too shall pass.

19 Halloween: grateful for Halloween preparation today. I walked the dog and passed a house that was all kitted out, as if preparing for a Halloween party already – it looked really cool. And work had commissioned some pretty cool pumpkin carvings and it was really impressive. Grateful for Halloween and for people getting into the fun of things.

20 Rosa’s Thai Cafe: grateful for this restaurant and food today. We ordered lunch from this tasty place and it brought back memories of when we used to live near a branch and eat here all the time. The flavours and quality of food is really top notch and it was nice having the memories come back. And also grateful for a free work lunch!

21 Self care: grateful for some self care today. Put some oil in my hair, did a bit of life admin, and organised a few things – all things that future me will be glad to know it’s been done. Essentially, self care through quality time for my future self.

22 Artemis: grateful for our dog today. I believe it’s been two months since we’ve taken her home and she has settled in very well. I’m learning lots about being a doggy mummy again, and she is teaching me lots in being more present and caring about another living being. Grateful for this beautiful soul being in my life.

23 A few things today. Grateful for writing today, as I carved out a little time to do just that this afternoon. Grateful for big warm anoraks, as we walked the dog in torrential rain. Grateful for tall and wide trees, offering a little shelter from said torrential rain. Grateful for the film Enchanted, as it’s funny and has super catchy songs to bop along to – really entertaining.

24 Hubby: super grateful for the hubby today. Been working super hard and super late and the hubby, thankfully, has been a dream in cooking dinners and dealing with the dog. So grateful to have an epic team player on my life team.

25 A few things today. Grateful for nature and having a garden, as I had a lot on today, yet taking the dog outside and watching her sniff around the grass and being outside in nature helped soothe me. Grateful for perspective and understanding why people do the things they do. And grateful for progress, as I had a conversation today and I’m reminded of how far I’ve come along.

26 Several things today. Grateful for tea and hot beverages in general, as I’ve been drinking lots to keep warm and also to gain the benefits of caffeine! Grateful for regular breaks, as I’ve been taking the dog outside and therefore having more breaks from work and more time outside in nature. Grateful for open dialogue, as we are doing new things at work that requires a lot of understanding. And also grateful for the hubby in helping me by talking through some theoretical ideas.

27 A few things today. Grateful for Halloween, I was in the office today and there were some cute pumpkin lanterns hung about the place – it was adorable. Grateful for progress, as I had a difficult conversation with someone and utilised the tools I’ve been learning to get through to this person. Also grateful for colleagues, as they brought in some tasty sweets and chocolates in the office today.

28 A few things today. Grateful for caffeine, helping me stay alert throughout the day. Grateful for checklists, ensuring that I don’t forget anything. Grateful for past hubby for batch cooking dinners at the weekend so we can simply reheat tonight. Grateful for forward thinking past me helping out scattered present me getting through the day.

29 Catching up: grateful to make time to catch up with friends today. A couple visited our home for a dog warming party, so to speak, and we video called another couple we haven’t seen in over a year so it was really good catching up with everyone.

30 Sleep: super grateful for sleep today. The clocks went back, meaning we all had an extra hour’s lie in, and I also slept in till the late morning.

31 Vets: super grateful for our vets today. We took the fur ball in to be seen and the vets were really informative and lovely, reminded me of our old vets who were really top notch. Grateful to know that Artemis is in safe hands.