I have found in this festive, yet potentially stressful and lonely, month that the same situations and scenarios appeared as last year. But this year I haven’t been as stressed or as quick to anger or become annoyed. I’m not sure if this easier-going me has been down to this gratitude journal or general going-with-the flow attitude. What previously would have annoyed me or made me rant I have realised that the situation or scenario, whatever it may be, is temporary and that there is no need to react in anger or annoyance as the situation or scenario is only fleeting. And then I have found that I am more at peace somehow.

The following quote comes to mind: “ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them”. I have also found that reading back on this month’s daily gratitudes I am not the healthiest or fittest of people, and I find more and more as the days and months go by that I am ever thankful for my body to actually allow me to do every day things. So here is my gratitude journal for the last month of 2019:

1 Christmas: grateful for Christmas and its traditions. Today we put up the Christmas tree and the Christmas decorations, and it reminded me of when Merlin used to watch us decorate the house for hours, entranced with what we were doing, trying to figure out if he could eat any of it I guess. And today we put up a wreath on our flat door, which took a little while, but it reminded me of our previous house when we put the wreath outside our front door for years and although it’s not an actual front door, I’m grateful that we have these little annual things we do, reminding me of times gone by.

2 Green tea: grateful for this hot beverage keeping me warm at work and I believe it also has some de-stressing, or calming, components too which was much needed today.

3 Ukulele: grateful for this beautiful instrument, just spent the evening strumming away and it was kind of meditative how I was concentrating and focusing on just this one thing. It always reminds me of Merlin and how he would startle if I didn’t strum properly, those were good days.

4 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today as there were a lot of phone calls, emails, and form filling today that would have been excruciatingly painful had I done them by my lonesome self. Sharing is caring and I’m grateful for the hubby to help and pull his weight during a potentially stressful day.

5 Friends: grateful for friends advising me on some general life and property related queries, also interesting seeing different perspectives of the same scenario.

6 Where I live: grateful about where I currently live and how convenient it is, I met up with friends for dinner and then popped into a cafe and it was just so nice to be able to have the convenience of all these places near me.

7 Christmas markets: grateful for a particular Christmas market stall. We travelled to Hampton Court Palace as there was a festive fayre and thought we could get a few little Christmas ornaments as gifts, but it turned out more like a food festive fayre. So we went homewards empty handed, but then we passed a Christmas market stall that was just perfect for Christmas ornaments and got a couple of things. Just good thinking to go home that route.

8 Catch up: grateful for a catch up with an old colleague over lunch, lovely seeing the progress of others and how the company I used to work at has grown.

9 Painkillers: grateful for some pain relief today due to some epic toothache over an area where I still haven’t been able to pinpoint which tooth is the cause for all the pain. So I’m grateful for some much required pain relief.

10 Soup: not usually a soup fan, but grateful to be able to eat, or drink, soft food considering my inability to chew properly right now.

11 Colleagues: grateful for a couple of colleagues today, one who helped me find a work-around a software and another I spoke to on the phone today who was so lovely and told me I never have to do something ever again as she and her team will be doing it instead.

12 Democratic right: grateful to be able to vote today, grateful for the people who marched for the right to vote many moons ago, and grateful that I live in a country where voting is recognised and fair.

13 Dancing: grateful for some epic music and dancing in a great bar only 10 mins away from me, also grateful to the lovely staff who danced with us, danced the macarena, and started a conga line – it was a great night.

14 Teeth: grateful that my toothache is subsiding and that I can kind of eat/ chew on both sides of my mouth again, most grateful that the pain has mostly gone and I can eat at a somewhat normal pace again.

15 Mantras: grateful for mantras, I wrote a blog post on a couple of podcast episodes that have been influencing me for a while and they both have really good advice and mantras that I am trying to live by.

16 Bus: grateful for the existence of buses and that there is a bus stop right outside my flat, as my big toe was really hurting today, so much so that I had to hobble around. So I’m grateful that there is a bus route that practically stops outside my house from work.

17 Work: grateful for work getting into the festive spirit, we got an advent calendar at the start of December and today got even more chocolate and wine.

18 Food: grateful for food today as there were more festive sweet goodies in the office today.

19 Festivities: work Christmas Secret Santa today and it was so fun pulling Christmas crackers and opening gifts, I am very grateful that I had a thoughtful Santa and got a dog shaped ice cube tray and some gin infusions that smell really good. Also got some prosecco from work too so I’m grateful for this tradition too.

20 Music: grateful for being able to make it to the work Christmas party and dancing to some epic music, turns out I’m like Gary from Netflix’s Final Space.

21 Cosiness: grateful to have a lie in, recharge my batteries, have a cup of tea, and just sit and chill in my pyjamas all evening.

22 Marriage: grateful for a steady marriage after watching The Crown and Home for Christmas, both on Netflix, where marriages have rocky times or just break down all together. So I’m grateful that I feel safe and loved today.

23 Food: grateful for some lovely food today, chocolate and lamb and mint sauce, so yummy and hearty.

24 Trains: grateful for public transport getting us to where we need to be today, even if there were delays or rude or loud passengers, I’m grateful I can get to places without a car today.

25 Service staff: grateful for service staff today working this festive bank holiday as we had a Christmas meal out, grateful for their time and friendly upbeat attitude.

26 Family and cats: grateful to be able to see a couple of family members who I haven’t seen in a couple of years and their cat who came into the room, meowed, allowed me to stroke him two times, and then ran out the room again.

27 Tea: grateful for some warm tea today when sitting and waiting for a film showing to start, it’s the little things.

28 Home: grateful to be home and in my own space again, it really is the small things I’m grateful for: floor space, mixer taps, a firm bed. Also grateful to still be in the flat I’m in now as I’m aware I won’t be for long.

29 Family and friends: grateful for family as I had a quick visit to my family today, and also grateful for friends as I had a lovely lunch with friends in the city we met and a nice walk down memory lane along one of my favourite walks where we had our wedding pictures taken.

30 Stepping back: grateful to be able to take a step back and come to some realisations today after talking with the hubby and then interestingly see it in A Bad Moms Christmas, whereby parents treat you the way their parents treated them and that as we grow older we can become the parent we always needed to have for ourselves.

31 Health: grateful to be able and healthy today as I had to take some medication for allergies or hives, I believe, which was annoyingly itchy but not detrimental to anything I was doing today.