What a tumultuous month! I had a lot on my mind and it was building up and festering. There was a lot of noise and pressure coming from all angles. I think it’s safe to say that I have been going at full speed for so long I was bound to run out of fuel eventually. And this is that month. I had a staycation at home, which gave me time and space to recharge and recuperate.

I’ve found out during my staycation that sleep, exercise, and quietness are great tools to reset myself. It gave me time and space to figure out what I want in life. At least in the near future. Also talking and discussing with friends and listening to podcasts has helped too. Hearing others’ perspectives and learning about why they do the things they do enabled me to imagine and position myself in those shoes to see if they fit.

I’m grateful I live in a safe environment and have the support network I do to help me in my times of need. I’m grateful I’ve come so far and have been able to figure things out. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And as you’ll read on that cup ran pretty low in June, but I think it managed to get back up a little. Here is June’s gratitude journal:

1 Skincare: grateful for skincare today. Testing out a couple of new products, which I’m super excited about and using the time to just be present and relax.

2 Comedy: grateful for comedy during these dark times. With COVID-19 and protests around the world (for good reason), it’s nice have a little reprieve from the outside world watching Space Force.

3 Sleep: grateful for sleep and a lie in today. Woke up pretty exhausted so was nice to take my slow time waking up and getting out of bed. Grateful for the extra time to recharge.

4 Quietness: grateful for quietness today. The neighbours were much quieter and the builders only drilled for an hour or so today so most of the day was really quiet. And I loved it, grateful for this peace to allow me to concentrate and think.

5 Rest: grateful for rest today and the coming days ahead as we have a staycation. Looking forward to recharging and recuperating and just chilling. Feel I am burnt out and I need some time to switch off.

6 Friends: grateful for friends today. Had a Zoom call and played Mario Kart online on the Switch. Nothing new really, but it was nice to have a little virtual interaction with people outside this flat.

7 Sun: grateful for the sun today. I actually put some sunscreen on this morning for a walk and it was pretty warm, considering it was rainy and cloudy later in the afternoon. So I’m grateful for the little bit of short lived sun today.

8 Rest: grateful for rest today. Today is the start of my week-long staycation, much needed as I feel super burnt out and in need of recuperation.

9 Podcast: listened to a really interesting podcast today called Listen Hunnay. Host Jeannie Mai interviewed memory expert Jim Kwik and his experience and life lessons were really eye opening so I’m grateful I listened to this episode. In fact, I’m only halfway through but have learnt so much already. Love the analogies and mnemonics too.

10 Time: grateful for the time I have this week on my staycation. It’s been good catching up with bits of life admin, flexing some creative muscles, and fixing general bits and bobs. I’m grateful that I can use this time to sort things out.

11 Thread: grateful for thread today. I’ve been sewing and upcycling some clothes I haven’t worn in months or maybe even years. It’s nice to be creative and find a new lease of life in things that have been sitting around for ages gathering dust.

12 Intentions: grateful to learn more about intentions today. Hearing examples of setting out and speaking intentions and how the words can resonate, comfort, and support you to become the person you need to be. I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts focusing on self help and empowerment and I’m grateful to hear these interviews and discussions and how I can incorporate these things into my own life.

13 Self help: grateful for self help today. I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts regarding self help and googling and researching a bit more to enlighten myself. I’m grateful I have these resources and can listen to people’s first hand experiences to determine what might work for me.

14 Self awareness: grateful for some self awareness today. Lately after listening to self help podcasts and googling things to gain a different perspective on life I have come to a self awareness and a realisation on the things that matter to me in life. I’m grateful that I can start to get out of my own head.

15 Animals: grateful for animals today. We had a black and white cat almost visit us today in the evening, a shy cat that when we got closer fled away. Grateful for furry animals keeping us on our toes and looking totally adorable.

16 Technology: grateful for technology today. I’ve recently discovered some helpful features on an app that I use that I hadn’t noticed before and is actually really useful.

17 Podcasts: grateful for podcasts for informing me and teaching me new and interesting things. Simple things like decision making and figuring out why we do what we do has been really helpful.

18 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today for supporting me and being there for me after a heinous long work day. Hugs from this guy are the best and really help calm me down and de-stress.

19 Friends: grateful for friends today who have been really supportive and encouraging. One has been an absolute gem for recommending something to me that I will endeavour to look into and open my horizons.

20 Hubby and technology: grateful for the hubby and tech today. Hubby successfully transferred very old pictures of our old dog from my very old and shattered iPad to my laptop. I had previously tried emailing to myself but some of the adorable videos were too big to email so hubby managed to connect everything for a successful transfer. So I still have access to pictures and videos of our old dog which I am very grateful for.

21 Walking: grateful for walking and exercise today. We took a little walk around the block – it seems like I haven’t left the flat in weeks, but more likely days. Caught a little sunshine and it was nice being present and just walking and being. Get some endorphins pumping too.

22 Quietness: grateful for quietness today. Nearby builders have packed up and left, which I am super grateful for. I can work in peace without drilling sounds. Opening the doors and windows are no longer a nightmare, not amazing, but superbly better than before. Such a relief.

23 Sun: grateful for some sunshine today. It’s been super warm and although it got a little stifling at points, I’m grateful to be able to feel the warm rays on my skin today.

24 Ukulele: grateful for the ukulele and having time to play it tonight. Just strumming away to a couple of lullabies and being in a peaceful, almost sleepy state. I’m grateful that muscle memory exists and though it doesn’t always sound great, playing the uke really grounds me and allows me to be present and hearing how rusty I sound!

25 Technology: grateful for technology today. I used clippers to cut the hubby’s hair whilst also watching a YouTube video on how to cut hair at home. A first for me and in our almost 12 year relationship!

26 Rain: grateful for rain today. It has been super warm lately so it was refreshing for the rain to break the heat a little and cool the air.

27 Picnics: grateful for picnics today. We walked over an hour to a lovely park for a lovely socially distant picnic. It was nice seeing people and having some friendly social interaction. Nearby was a 5 year old’s birthday party and there was a children’s entertainer too, which was actually quite entertaining to watch.

28 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today for helping me figure out what the important things in life are. It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it to see the bigger picture or the light at the end of the tunnel. So I’m grateful to have someone always looking out for me shining the light and supporting me in my process of figuring things out.

29 Friends: grateful for friends today, enlightening and encouraging me. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and potentially the fog is slowly fading and I can almost see clearly now.

30 Quietness: grateful for quietness today. Though I can still hear a bit of drilling the bulk of it, I believe, is done and finished. Grateful to be able to sit in my own living room without feeling vibrations of building works. It is actually quite soothing feeling still whilst sitting down.