May is my birthday month and I have learnt a lot this month. I’ve learnt more about myself, my habits, mental health, self care, and about various people in my life.

I am super grateful that I have people in my life who feel safe to be open and honest with me. I have had many difficult yet inspirational conversations this month – human beings are truly capable of anything.

I am learning, slowly, that it is ok to not put myself last. I am learning to actively carve out time for self care, as self care is not after care. I need to better practise what I preach, but I am still learning and am still a work in progress.

So, here is May’s gratitude journal, as I navigate through various learning points and refill my cup:

1 Tulips: grateful for tulips today; bright, colourful, and bold tulips. My ultimate favourite flowers and we got to see a lot of them blooming today.

2 Sleep: grateful for sleep today. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep, miraculously I managed to get a few extra hours sleeping in after the alarm went off. Super grateful for sleep today.

3 A couple of things today. Grateful for stretching, as it relaxes me and it prevents cramps too. Grateful for progress, as I’m actively trying to forge better habits and stop bad habits. It’s a work in progress, but in a week I have seen some improvement, so I’m grateful for these little steps of progress.

4 Exercise: grateful for exercise today. I exercised for the first time in absolutely ages, working up a bit of a sweat – my body will surely be aching tomorrow! I’m grateful for how present and mindful exercise can be, you’re so busy that you actually forget about life’s worries for a little bit.

5 Phone: grateful for my phone today, as google maps has been very very useful – and, oddly, far superior than my car’s sat nav.

6 Hubby:

Grateful for the hubby today. Such a busy work day, working through lunch which I haven’t done in a while, and the hubby made lunch for me. Also got a bouquet of colourful tulips, my all time favourite flowers. Grateful for the hubby today.

7 Life admin: grateful for a little life admin today, taking stock and re-evaluating things to better align with what I need or want. Some things still need to be sorted out, but things are looking good.

8 Nature: grateful for nature today. Seeing the lush green grass in the garden, hearing the birds singing, and feeling the warm sunshine.

9 A few things today.

Grateful for work for sending some self care goodies, as it’s mental health awareness week. Also grateful for the self care goodies, because it’s things I’d never buy myself, but am keen to utilise now I have them. And grateful for mental health awareness being more at the forefront of dialogues and conversations.

10 Hubby: grateful for the hubby today. Looking after me, giving me many pills, and cleverly suggesting to connect to things together to make my life easier.

11 Liquids: grateful for liquids today, hydrating the body – and more specifically – the throat. Grateful for some refreshing reprieve from sharp pains in said throat.

12 Body: grateful for my body today, carrying me through. Pausing and listening to my body and giving it good things to stay healthy.

13 A few things today. Grateful for vitamin c, keeping me well. Grateful for the hubby, getting me colourful tulips. Grateful for said colourful tulips, as they’re so vibrant and cheerful. Grateful for chicken noodle soup, it’s been a while since I had some – good for the soul and good for the throat.

14 A few things today. Grateful for a lie in, as I had a pretty restless night. Grateful for nature, flowers, and birdsong, giving me some hope and reprieve from being ill. Grateful for the hubby fetching medicine and making me go on a super sunny walk.

15 Play: grateful for play today. Played a couple of video games, did a bit of painting, and listened to podcasts. Grateful to have the time to chill and relax, to essentially refill my cup.

16 Voice: grateful for my voice. I haven’t really been able to talk lately due to illness so I’m grateful that usually when I am well I have a voice and I can talk and speak my mind.

17 Progress: grateful for progress today. Had a conversation about two things that happened over the weekend, and it appears I have made leaps and bounds in progress towards changing a particular behaviour that has been adversely affecting me for years. Grateful to have this pointed out to me, as I was not as aware of this progress myself and am therefore quite proud of myself!

18 Colleagues: grateful for colleagues today. Went into the office and it was really nice seeing the team. We then went out for team dinner to celebrate someone leaving who had actually already left a few months ago. Grateful for this lovely, funny, and caring bunch of people who work hard and play hard.

19 Refilling my cup: grateful for refilling my cup today. Did some reading and played some video games – I realise I need to better carve out time for fun and play and to just chill. Planning and creating time and space to express myself and finding joy.

20 Sleep: grateful for a pretty decent night’s sleep last night. Lately I’ve been finding it hard to both get to sleep and stay asleep – so grateful to manage that ok last night.

21 New experiences:

Grateful for new experiences today. To celebrate my birthday we ate at a restaurant that was highly recommended by colleagues, and it was super tasty indeed. And saw a new musical that I hadn’t heard the whole soundtrack to, which was super entertaining.

22 Skincare: grateful for skincare today. Putting on a sheet mask and rolling a jade roller is really relaxing and gets me in a meditative flow state, where my mind is where my feet are at – zen-like.

23 A few things today. Grateful for learning, as I’m reading and learning more about mental health as part of my training as a mental health first aider. Grateful for self expression, as I did some writing today and the creative juices were flowing. Grateful for movement, as I managed to fit in some yoga this evening which I haven’t done in a while. And grateful for sleep, because I had a little difficulty falling asleep last night but I miraculously managed to get some shut eye in the end.

24 Learning: grateful for learning today. Learning lots about mental health issues, also learning lots about myself, and better understanding past behaviours and how to better adopt and change different communication styles.

25 Several things today. Grateful for life today. Also grateful for cake, biscuits, biscuit tins, dogs, packages, sentimental and warm messages. Grateful for being heard, understood, and listened to. And oddly grateful for people updating road reports so there are no nasty surprises when driving around.

26 Authentic conversations: grateful for authentic conversations today. I had my last mental health first aid training session and the discussions were really open and honest. I also listened to and participated in a fireside chat that work organised and again the conversations were open and authentic. Some of the discussions today reminded me of my own experiences, which I then spoke about with the hubby. Several weeks ago I did a survey to find my life values and authenticity was very high on my values list, so listening and participating in authentic conversations or simply being around open and authentic people really refills my cup. I am very grateful that there are authentic people in my life who can have open and honest dialogue with me.

27 A few things today. Grateful for cake and biscuits, grateful for birds and birdsong, grateful for tea and hot drinks, grateful for stories and story telling.

28 Lie ins: grateful for a lie in today, which was unplanned but totally needed. Have had trouble sleeping lately and reading a good book and propping up on a few pillows sure has done wonders. Grateful for this peaceful rest.

29 Several things today. Grateful for bees and flowers, as we had a couple of bumble bees visit our garden. Grateful for cake and biscuits, as we are still devouring the birthday treats. Grateful for creativity, as I did some writing today. Grateful for play, as we played a co-op video game today. And grateful for meditation and strong affirmations, setting a good mindset for the rest of the day.

30 Space: grateful for space today. Tried drying some towels in the kitchen, as there was some free open space there. Standard British weather today meant no drying outside and I’m keen to not use the tumble drier to help save the planet, so I’m grateful that we have the space to do this.

31 Body: grateful for the body today. Did some exercise, which was tiring yet not terrible, so I’m grateful for the body for that. Also grateful for my body knowing when things are safe or unsafe as I travelled throughout my day and instincts kicked in at certain points.